


Methods of Death and Life

by DisguisedasInnocent



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, One Shot, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 11:02:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3117764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DisguisedasInnocent/pseuds/DisguisedasInnocent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla Karnstein has lived hundreds of years and died thousands of deaths. Laura Hollis has lived for eighteen years and hasn't touched her own death. Carmilla shares the story of some of her almost-deaths.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Methods of Death and Life

"You said the cold won't kill you." Laura said quietly as she wrapped her arms around Carmilla's hips, pushing her face into the soft flesh of the woman's shoulder, closing her eyes in an effort to ignore the scars carved into the surface of Carmilla's flesh. "Does that mean you've tried...?”

"Multiple times Cupcake." Carmilla answered softly, lifting her hands to press against the soft smooth skin of Laura's fingers, stroking the tender flesh soothingly. "I never wanted this life Laura, I never wanted to be immortal, but I am." 

"How?" Laura asked, biting down on her bottom lip as she breathed in the scent of Carmilla's skin. 

"Do you really want to know Laura?" Carmilla questioned her hands tightening around Laura's fingers. 

"Yes." The blonde haired woman replied. "I... I think I need to know, if you're able to tell me." 

"I've thrown myself off a couple of roofs in my lifetime." Carmilla began, her voice rough with emotion and hurt, thick with anger and sadness, but she spoke regardless. "The tower here at Sillas, once or maybe twice, but it doesn't really do anything. I fall through the air for a couple of seconds, or minutes, hit the ground and break almost every single bone in my body but while a human would die from the pain, the blood loss, the punctured organs - I just laid there until my body began to repair itself. Once, I did it multiple times, dropped myself off the edge of the tower three times in a row, crawling back up the stairs as soon as I could move after the falls, but it didn't change anything. I began to heal each time." 

"That's..." Laura choked on a sob that threatened to leave her mouth as she pressed her face into Carmilla's shoulder. "That's horrible. I don't..."

"I shot myself in the face with a gun once." Carmilla commented idly as she brushed her fingertips across the soft skin of Lauren's hands, tracing the patterns of the girl's blood vessels with an absent-minded touch. "After the blood coffin, I climbed out of it, and I didn't really know what was happening but there was gunfire and bombs blowing up around me. I stole a private's gun in the middle of the night, placed the barrel up underneath my chin and fired. I didn't die." 

Laura whimpered quietly, biting down on her bottom lip until her teeth pierced the flesh, her fingers clutching at the soft fabric of Carmilla's sleep shirt. "When was the last time?"

"I stood on the edge of the ocean, I watched the sun slide out of its sleeping shadow, and the clouds cling to its light as it rose up into the sky." Carmilla said with a smile playing on the corner of her lips. "I made peace with my future - I knew what I was about to do would probably kill me, but for the first time I didn't want to die to die. I wanted to die to let someone else live, and that made all the difference I suppose. I swam out into the ocean, I let it take it into its embrace, and I sank. I sank down until I could swim through the murky waters by myself, I sank down, and I swam into the caves."

"You..." Laura breathed out slowly. "You thought the sword would kill you?"

"Cupcake," Carmilla chuckled quietly, twisting in Laura's arms to face the younger woman, her hand lifting to cradle her face in her palm. "I thought it would consume me, but I knew that by wielding the sword I would be able to save your life.”

“Before they found you, I thought I was going to die.” Laura said with a soft whimper, her eyes locked onto Carmilla’s caring brown gaze. “There were so many things I hadn’t told you, because I was scared, or confused.”

Carmilla stared into Laura’s soft loving eyes for a long minute before starting to speak. “The cold cannot kill me. Heights cannot kill me. The oceans themselves cannot kill me. The sword did not consume me, because I am not alive. Yet, Laura, you give me life. I love you – I’m in love with you.” 

“I love you too.” Laura confessed quietly, reaching out into the space between Carmilla’s mouth and her own lips, closing the gap to seal her words with a gentle kiss against Carmilla’s lips.


End file.
